I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
