Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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