Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
