There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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