He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
