So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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