Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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