while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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