If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
