wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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