Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
