There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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