I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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