I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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