Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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