You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we're so committed to being not committed
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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