Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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