he shaved USA in his pubs
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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