my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
