i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
