She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
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I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
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She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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