Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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