Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.