if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
