I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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