Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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