You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
COCAINE IS GR8
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
