why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
