So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize