I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
