I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
