Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
