youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize