She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
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you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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