I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
