She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
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She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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