$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
