when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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