Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize