I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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