you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
