I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
