if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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