Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
