i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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