So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
