Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
