The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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