am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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