Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You took a bar mat shot.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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