You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
