We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
