Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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