some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
