last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
