Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
