ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
